Balancing Extremes

I have read about Nosara that it is a community with a specific lifestyle and commitment to that view. I have also heard it said that Nosara is not for everybody. Before coming I wondered what that could mean when everything sounded so appealing. I may be getting my answer through the school community.

Today we had a guided tour of the local super market by the school nutritionist. The school food health program is by far the most strict I’ve ever seen. My children have never eaten fast food and we cook fresh and natural more often than not. The school’s healthy snack and lunch parameters are even sending me with questions.

Today’s tour was a good example of some other curiosities I’ve had about this community. In maneuvering down the isles, the nutritionist pointed out largely imported food as best for your health.

The past few weeks I have struggled with the high price of goods in this area or simply the lack of basic items (like a laundry drying rack.)  In a (broken Spanish) talk with my house helper (more about her later because she is a dream) even she makes regular trips to Nicoya, a 1-2 hour bus ride away, for goods.

Nosara is truly isolated in how far it is from infrastructure and how challenging it is to navigate these unpredictable and unpaved  roads. Westerners profess coming here for the pure life, the simpler life, a life less materialistic. But I see materialism here in a different context.  Life here is also complicated and just as expensive as living in North America.

For all of the values of healthy diet, they compromise a huge carbon footprint just to get goods (like soy and rice milk) here.

For all of the support for the environment, they need beastly vehicles to navigate these “rustic” roads.

If you are eating well or navigating these roads by vehicle, you are utilizing resources that are not totally necessary.  To do this, you are spending a lot of money.  If you need a lot of money, you are not living simply.

When the price of simplicity is so high, you have gone off course.

I see here that when we choose a life of extreme purity we are doomed to contradiction in some adjacent area.

I hear the standards here but I aim for somewhere in the middle, even if it means that I won’t fit in completely.

And then... I compare this with other places I have lived. I consider my concerns with schools and North American culture. I reflect on the values my kids were around and how I worried about their exposure to materialism, junk food, inappropriate television, etc. It is just the opposite extreme. When I ask myself where I would rather be, I choose here! - even with all of the extremes and their contradictions.

Now, I see the contradictions as a way these residents have of making this place of beauty work for them with some of the comforts of home and priority to values that come from another place. Then it seems like the compromises they make for a better life and their demands don't seem so extreme anymore. It also makes the residents seem more real and less ideal.

How ironic that it is our contradictions that make us balanced.

Del Mar Academy

Del Mar Academy, a Bilingual Montessori School located in Nosara, Costa Rica: ""

(Via .)

First Day of School

 

 

I love the school. It is the reason we came and I can see it being the reason we would stay. The staff are knowledgeable professionals and the environment is simply magical.

I can’t imagine returning to a “regular” school after a place like this.

I ran into some Costa Rican parents who said this is one of the nicest schools in Costa Rica in terms of quality and organization. These founders really had a vision and are on the path to fully realizing the dream of a perfect learning environment for children. It is a community effort though and there is an understanding that success is based as much on the parents as on the school. It is a school and community that strives to embraces the real genius of adventure learning by balancing high academic excellence in the full big picture of life experiences with family, friends and in nature.

Learning is an experience, not a work sheet and that is so refreshing!

 

There have been a few key new improvements in the status of visitors (in my long term tourist status) to Costa Rica.

1. Long term tourists can open Costa Rican bank accounts.
2. A new law was just passed enabling families with children in Costa Rican schools to get long term tourist visas.

It is a very new law and most lawyers still don’t know about it yet.  The will help us tremendously in avoiding the 90 day exits for 72 hours. Most families go to Nicaragua or Panama but it is a trek with 3 young kids alone.  I have also heard that after the travel expenses are all said and done, it would be easier to just fly to Florida.

Volcanoes

I can tell my life has changed course when I consult a monthly tide calendar posted to my fridge.  My neighbor brought the printout over as a recommended must-have.  She said, “you can’t plan to go to the beach if there isn’t one!” Good point. It also drives home the ever present point that this landscape is constantly changing.

For all of my self praise about my good packing skills, I have some serious holes in my planning.  Did I really think that 2 sets of swim wear would be enough for each child? Did I really think that 9 bottles of sunscreen would last 4 months? Did I think my kids would have any kind of social life with no body boards?

Catching Fish With Our Bare Hands:

 

Preschool Physics with A Coconut:

 

How Many Kids Can Fit in A Tide Pool?

 

By Request: Toes in Pacific Sand:

 

Can't Resist The Baby Foot Prints:

 

This Little Boy Fought For His Coconut:

 

 

What In The World Is This?

(This is what Oliver decided to chew on and fought me when I tried to take it away)

 

My Volcano Collection:

(What?! Mamas can collect shells also)

 

The Fishermen Are Off and So Are We

Nieghbor's pool

We wandered into our neighboring neighborhood and found this

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The bull’s eye and the monkey’s heart

I suppose it is inevitable to meet interesting people in a place like this. As of now I have only heard some small portion of their stories and they are as wild and detailed as the jungle. I have met a number of impressive ladies here, each one came to this same place from dramatically different journeys. Some arrived through tragedy and some from desperate longing. Some came with a restless heart and others seeking a firmer ground. So far this looks like cowgirl country. They lived adventurous lives of bohemian travelers, international diplomats, or successful capitalists and they have all decided to call Nosara home.

I have only caught short moments with the women who founded the school that brought us here. They have profound vision and indescribable drive to make this dream a reality. Beyond this they are grounded, clear headed and practical. One of the founders said “If our school gets 800 students then we have gone off course. Our focus is quality.” You can feel it when she says it but you can also see it in the school and listening to the teachers.

I’ve run into a number of single moms here. Single by choice or logistical circumstances similar to mine. I am not the first mother to bring my kids to this place in search of an optimum environment. I am not the first one to do it at great sacrifice either.

The ones who have been here a while feel a strong connection to the surrounding natural environment. I guess it is inevitable here - you will either love it and embrace it or you will hate it and flee. It is so in your face that it doesn’t give you a choice. These women have taken up every past time from surfing to gardening. For them they are not passing time at all; they are very much in time, present in the moment. They are naturalists by observation and research.

On our way back from a walk, one of the ladies, who is a wealth of local knowledge, introduced the kids to some seeds:

The Bull’s Eye and the Monkey’s Heart.

The Bull symbolizes stability, strength, peacefulness, helpfulness, and determination

The Monkey symbolizes fun, activity, friendliness, curiosity and rebellion

...seems appropriate for the characters we are meeting

Killin' Time

Waiting...

Waiting...

 

Blow Hole!!!

 

 

I'm sure you can imagine the fun that is when you are 1, 3 and 5 years old!

 

 

 

The aforementioned rocks and tide pools

 

 

 

Our daily rain shower

 

nuff said

Boa, perhaps

 

This is what happens to your kids in the jungle

 

The Complexity of Simplicity

What measure of discomfort and uncertainty would you endure for extreme beauty?

In Costa Rica and in Nosara, they market the life of Pura Vida, the “Pure Life.” “Pure” in the Costa Rican sense is authentic, relaxed and connected. Sometimes pure is equated with simple. Simplicity is relative and ironic. North America is filled with conveniences and accommodations yet it just makes everybody more hurried. Somehow they have less time even with everything moving more smoothly. Efficiency, which should simplify daily life, just comes to mean fast paced. This life in Nosara is pure but I’m not sure this life is more simple, just simple in different ways. The jungle is intense and complex and even overstimulating. The logistics of being here as guests are even more complex.

I would say the difference has more to do with choice than simplicity. In North America, you have a choice to participate in all of the opportunities or choose your path and make your day. The problem is that the vast selection of options retards responsible decision making. We think if there are choices we must experience as many as possible. The reality is that we can choose the life we want to live. In this regard, I like Europe because there are choices but we are not bombarded with them. They just need to work on the weather ;)

In Nosara, so many things are not available so it forces you to live this “Pura Vida.” We are not overwhelmed by too many choices. Things get done when they get done and thing happen when they happen. Things either fall into place or they don’t.

One thing Nosara has that is not a matter of choice is a great variety of accessible natural beauty. We were going to the beach as a family but Sean and Maya surfed while the boys felt lost in the vastness of the open ocean and huge waves.  Today I walked the boys up the coast and we found a forgeable river flowing into the ocean.

 

The surrounding rocks made tide pools that were just perfectly toddler size. Leo and Oliver finally found themselves. Oliver plopped his butt in every precious pool while Leo climbed the rocks.  The intimidating waves were stopped by the boys’ new fortress and they were alive with curiosity. They needed a boundary defining their space. Sean and Maya joined us later and Sean said, “this really is paradise, isn’t it?!” With all of the struggles and adaptations, it really is all worth it.

 

Going to School

Follow me as we walk to the kid's school

Turn right

 

 

Go down the hill

 

 

Part of the school building

 

 

The campus is huge!!!

 

 

The parking lot

 

 

 

In paradise with sharks circling

Trust nobody. Sean said it best when he said, "This is jungle paradise with human sharks." People are friendly but you can feel the distance and there is always an old soul lurking in the corner whispering of the same mistakes newcomers make every year. Everything is a contractual agreement that comes with extensive complications and no guarantees. We looked at a truck today but the owner doesn't have the title right now. The explanation he gives seems viable.  I crossed it with some mutual friends who said it was fine.

Then, I knocked on some random neighbors' doors and just gave them the scenario and they all adamantly said, "No Way!"

You can anticipate the next line:

Get a lawyer!

The lawyer runs the tags to get the history of the vehicle. They make sure there are no outstanding payments or damages.

Take the vehicle to a mechanic.

The thing is that the title story may be fine but you have to go through a lawyer to ensure that all is legal and trackable. The mechanic check only protects you.

For all of my excitement over accessible and affordable help, I am learning the complexities of hiring help here in Costa Rica. My understanding is that hiring somebody in the capacity of a nanny / cook / cleaner entails paying their social security, holidays etc. You are taking on the responsibilities of employing somebody. It is important to understand the responsibilities before taking on help that one would assume is under the table.

There is this prevailing feeling that some people are trying to pawn off their past mistakes on the newcomers and we have quickly grown wary of friendly business. This is where I think we are pretty resilient: old games, different country. I am proud of Sean's skepticism and of my boldness to knock on anybody's door and ask advice from random passersby.

 

Day 5: Robbery & Bats

Yesterday afternoon we took the kids to the beach. After 30 minutes a woman came running towards me saying that our cars were broken into. Sean sprinted back to the car and we discovered - by some miracle (for us) - that our car was fine but her window was broken and they stole all of her stuff under the seats and in the clove compartment. We have heard about rampant petty crime but that is pretty intense to see it in the first few days we are here. We are supposed to carry our passports everywhere but I'm not taking anything but our keys when we go to the beach.

After a refreshing, cool shower this morning, I had a mutual scare with a poor little BAT who came in the screen door that the kids had left open. Sean took the kids to look and explained that they had to keep the doors shut so the monkeys and bats don't come in to bite them. Maya turned around and said, "Leo, you better not let a howler monkey into our room!"

Kibbutz, yet not

In many ways this area is like Kibbutz. Everybody knows everybody in the small town sense but even more so everybody seems to be in business with one another and most people in the same joining businesses: tourism, real estate, rentals, construction, housing management, surfing and yoga. All of the businesses are so inter-linked that I call them everybody’s honey pots. I wonder if the expats’ “businesses” are related to the need to be incorporated in order to do many things here. I'll have to ask the lawyer about that, hehe.

This area is pretty isolated and so the supplies that are here are more expensive. Many people use a sort of currier system that is similar to “Nahag Bait” on kibbutz. There are “shoppers” in San Jose who will get the items you need for the cheapest price and send them to us either by bus, van or flight. There is a small fee for their time and we can more or less get what we need affordably.

This area is very Western though and with that comes the disconnect and strong sense of independence that is the pride of North Americans. I thought of Israelis on Kibbutz who offer to help new comers in any way. An example: we are trying to orient ourselves and focus our resources. The neighbors are friendly and offer information about how far the closest city is (almost 2 hours) and how difficult it is to get some supplies and negotiate certain concerns. They are giving us good tips but we must navigate the issues alone.  On Kibbutz, everybody offers rides, offers to bring something from the big city, offers to help resolve any issues to make the transition smoother. I feel much more on my own here and I am hoping that will change some when we meet the community of parents connected to the school. When I seek more support, Sean keeps telling me, “this is not Kibbutz; we have to figure it out.”

Humidity

We are moist, constantly sticky. Even our papers and passports curl with moisture -  and this is not even the most humid time. Maya draws a picture and I think it will fall apart before I can put it on the fridge. I’m getting used to it and somehow it is not so bothersome because there is so much beauty around us. My clothes have become an outer layer of skin that I peel of. Going to the bathroom is like taking off a wet bathing suit and putting it back on again. But... we haven’t turned on our air condition yet.

Driving

We tried to drive to the next town 27 K south of here. I read it was an hour away. Distance is not the factor as much as terrain. After an hour+ of muddy roads we were dead in our tracks. The roads here are not smooth, lots of potholes, ditches and washouts. This is the place for a serious all terrain vehicle. Sean walked in the road “puddle” and it went up to his waist.

 

 

This is not a river, this was the road that we were supposed to cross. I have a feeling this is nothing to the people who have been here a while. Most vehicles are 4 wheel drive and have snorkels.

 

 

Cars and pics

Guidelines for getting a car

Renting:  Too expensive

Purchasing new:  Too expensive

Purchasing used:

Never buy locally because the cars in this area are trashed by the road. People are desperate to unload junkers that are not worth the trouble. Many people here get cars with a long and troubled history of missed insurance payments and if you are the current owner, you have to pay all of the back neglected fees.

Make sure the car is recently inspected.

Buy from San Jose where the wear and tear is less.

…And of course, consult a lawyer.

 

Pictures

The neighborhood

 

Stairwell view from inside house

 

 

Local homes