My new friend has something to say

 

Good morning,

Well, to start off, the alien arm that you child was chewing on the beach is in fact a lobster antennae. Apparently he has a taste for exotic sushi.

It was really interesting to read about our conversation filtered through you and written on page. I have to admit, I was flattered. Led me to think about how we never really know for sure how we are viewed by each individual in our community. Would be so cool to read a blog post about yourself from everyone you know. I figure it would be quite the learning experience. Probably pretty humbling as well....

Happy that you found some depth in my experience here, but I have to say, seems pretty basic in the face of what you are doing...

Reading about someone's newfound experiences in Nosara is both refreshing and challenging. On one hand, it reminds me of the magic of my home and life. To see you and your kids experience our bugs and beach for the first time makes it fresh again. I remember my first year here was so surreal. I kept meeting all the right people and being in all the right places. When you find the groove here, it flows really nicely.

On the other hand, I find myself starting to get defensive about certain assumptions or points of view on things that I disagree with. I realize that this is what we all go through trying to internalize our new surroundings and get a grasp on the community. In the end a point of view is a just a starting point in order to orient ourselves as we begin a new journey. As long as we, as traveler's, are constantly open to re-evaluating those opinions, then its all good. Don't get me wrong, nothing in your blog has me upset in the least, it is more the feeling of someone new coming in and judging Nosara. I think that because it takes such an effort to make it here, you become defensive of the good and the bad. Kinda like, "yes he is an asshole, but he is our asshole". After taking so many lumps, you start taking pride in the hardships here. funny huh?

Anyway, I am happy to have met you and look forward to talking more. I want to have you and the kids down to our place...  lots of room for everyone to run and play. I am looking forward to reading your blog more and hoping that I get the chance to star in it again.

Call me if you need anything.

 

My response:

I promise to always re-evaluate.

Truthfully, without holding back, tell me what you think. I will do the same.  Even if it hurts, I know it is authentic and I find comfort in that.

We will accept each other's "judgements" as necessary for growth. (Thank you for already giving me that courtesy)

We will be good friends if I know you are not just telling me what I want to hear.

The truth is that if I had fully understood what is involved in living in Nosara, I probably wouldn't have come. Now that we are already here, we have incentive to make it work. (On the other hand, I don't know that I had another choice; what I was doing wasn't working.) No matter what I think of the community or the logistics, I love this place for my children. I live through them all of the time. I had great struggle in my childhood and I want only great happiness in theirs.

And I understand feeling defensive about Nosara. You contributed to making it what it is today. You had the vision and you know what it takes to get here. On kibbutz in Israel, members feel like they are in a fish bowl with people passing through, so ready to offer their 2 week critiques. If they had only seen the barren desert from which sprung this strong yet redefining community. Outsiders are quick to say how far you need to go and not so quick to consider how far you've come.

Additionally, the accomplishment, betrayal, elation and disappointment just binds the most unlikely of people together - I get that that loyalty to your community.

Although the perspective of newcomers is in many ways 1 dimensional and tunneled, it is nonetheless valuable. The newcomer stands both naked and invisible in the face of the complete unknown. I have been that person in 4 radically different countries...

…And then to go back "home" and find you are but a ghost for those who can no longer see you, although you see them.

 

See you soon...